


Ten Minutes

by Kiiratam



Series: Bees in Bed [10]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/F, Mini, Suicidal Thoughts, Yangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 11:21:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20024968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiiratam/pseuds/Kiiratam
Summary: Yang wakes up from her nightmares.Takes place between Volumes 3 and 4. (My BMBLB fic index)





	Ten Minutes

Yang's eyes snapped open, looked at the clock. Ten minutes?_ Ten worthless minutes_ since her head had touched the pillow?

  
She reached up to grab the offending pillow, and hurl it across the room. Looked at her stump, which wasn't grabbing or hurling anything. Stayed where she was. She'd have to get out of bed to get the pillow if she threw it. Not that she was cozy in bed. That hadn't happened for weeks. Since Beacon. Since she could listen to her team-mates as they fell asleep.

  
But Yang didn't want to move. Didn't want to make a noise, so that her dad would wake up to come check on her. She loved him. He was still here. It hurt him to see her like this, but he was here. But she just wanted to be angry, and she didn't want to be angry at the one person left to her.

  
Ten minutes. It was almost impressive. Was that how long it took her to break again? Ten minutes of trying to relax, followed by ten hours of insomnia?

  
She rolled over, shoving her face into the pillow. Wanting to scream, knowing that it didn't help. Wanting to sob, knowing that it didn't help. The tears started anyway.

  
Sure, what was one more failure? Yang held tightly onto the pillow, trying to breath evenly.

  
She was alive.

  
She could fix that.

  
Yang lingered on the idea, thinking on hows. Had a sudden vision of a second memorial on the cliff, next to Summer's. Her dad bringing roses and sunflowers.

  
The tears started again.

  
She wouldn't make him go through that again. Wouldn't do it to Ruby again, when she found out. If she found out. If she hadn't died on the road to Mistral.

  
Yang could almost forgive Ruby, lying here, crying in her bed. Ruby had left to help other people. Save the world, even. She could forgive that. Yang had spent years training to be a Huntress, knowing that she might trade her life for the lives of others. Ruby had been trained the same way, had known that Yang was willing to make that sacrifice.

  
And she couldn't have gone with Ruby and the others. Not like this, a little broken doll of a Huntress. Yang imagined Ruby asking her to come along. Telling her little sister to go on ahead, and save the world, and that she'd catch up as soon as she could. Like that, it almost sounded like Yang was the one making the sacrifice. Less like Ruby was cutting off dead weight.

  
But she hadn't asked. Just left in the night. Sure, there was a note. You couldn't argue with a note. You couldn't make promises to a note. Couldn't hug a note close, and tell them that you loved them back. Not that Yang hadn't done all those things anyway. She had to say them, even if Ruby couldn't hear her. Hadn't given her the chance. Yang's breathing was nice and even again, as she picked past scabbed wounds.

  
Jaune, Ren, Nora...they'd stuck with Ruby. Yang couldn't blame them for that. Ruby needed help. They needed to do something, to honor the dead. To get revenge. They were her friends, but they weren't her team. They weren't family.

  
Weiss - Weiss, she barely knew what happened. Back to Atlas. Back to her family. Yang didn't know if she'd had a choice in that at all. What could she do, start a fight with the Atlas military while Grimm roamed Beacon Academy?

  
Yang told herself to stop there. That was everyone. That was everyone who mattered to her. Sure, there were more people she could care about in the abstract - her professors, the other students at Beacon, the citizens of the Four Kingdoms - but they weren't her team. Weren't her family.

  
It wasn't working. Yang rolled onto her back, picked at the skin on her stump. Wanting to tear it off, make it bleed again. She delved into her mind for an old scar, picked that open instead. Her mother had come for her once, on the train. Why not again? Why break years of isolation for a single act of kindness, then vanish again?

  
Years of listening to her dad sprang into her head. Because Raven used little acts of kindness to make the cruelty go down easy. Because Raven didn't care about anyone but herself. Because ravens came when death was near, because they could sense weakness, and pain, and hurt, and aimed right for it. And stirred up again if any of that was directed at them. Running away.

  
Just like Blake. Running away from her. Yang shoved her knuckles into her mouth, bit down. Hard. She tasted blood, tried to focus on it. Tried to let the taste drown out her thoughts.

  
Blake sitting next to her. Sleeping on the bed below her. Letting her ears out of the bow when they were alone.

  
Eating together. Fighting Grimm together. Blake swinging Yang around like she was a wrecking ball.

  
Playing games, side by side. Splashing in the surf. Half-drowning in the rain.

  
Sitting back to back, reading. Blake playing with her hair. Teasing Weiss together.

  
Holding each other when nightmares came. Trying to squeeze bad memories out with a hug. Lying in bed, staring into each other's eyes, not wanting to leave.

  
Yang curled up around the pillow, buried her face in it. Pretending it was Blake, crying herself back to sleep.

  
She managed an hour this time.


End file.
